Greetings future pallbearers:

I figured I'd swoop in and offer some minor updates and shameless self-promotion for the terminally curious and curiously terminal, on the life, times, and remaining timed life of yours truly.


1. VENGEANCE RISING, AND BROWNING SLIGHTLY ON TOP.
I am no longer running Roger's site, though I am still willing to assist him in VR-related endeavors. Brian K. is currently running the MySpace, and Roger himself will be running the main site when it's ready. I am on tap to run Rog's new message board, though, whenever he gives the go-sign.

2. VOTE "WAR PARTY" IN NOVEMBER!
Speaking of new message boards, the Warpath Board will make a huge comback in the fall--the domains are registered, etc. We will be making our "official" comeback on the one-year anniversary of the original board's demise. I am still on the lookout for an assistant admin, as well as a site design/maintainance person. The new Warpath will feature both "tame" and "untamed" areas, and will likely not have any "official" association with Vengeance Rising, though the new VR Board may be hosted there, in the band area.
If anyone has any screen caps, text files, image files, traumatic memories they've set to print, etc. of the old Warpath...PLEASE get in touch. We'd love to have SOME remnant of the old place, since the old archives were vanquished in the hack.

3. COMING TO A CUT-OUT BIN NEAR YOU!
I'm working on a new book entitled Dead Letter Orifice. It's essentially a collection of my better Fear & Loathing-type articles and essays over the years. My long-in-production novel, Chasing Phantoms, is also nearing a more comfortable level of (non)completion.

4. IN LOVELY "TRIBULATION EDITIONS"!
The reissues of my two poetry books (written in 1997 and 2000, respectively) that I announced a little while ago are almost ready to go. The bonus material is finished, and the new covers are done. I was hoping to get them out this month, but it's looking like Oct. 1 will be the day.
And yes, one of them is my long-lost "Christian" book. It took me a while to figure out what approach to take to the commentary, etc.; but I've decided to preserve the spirit of the original work for what it was. Thus, I've designed all commentary and bonus material to be "Christian-friendly," like it was ready to be shipped to friggin' Zondervan or something. I thought long and hard about this--and it was not as easy to come to terms with it all as I thought it would be--but I feel as though I've made the right decision. I'm at peace with it.

5. HUH? WHAT? NEVERMIND.
There is no five. Apparently, there was a tesseract, or I'm a tease.

6. "WILL DASH HOPES FOR FOOD"
I've been out sick with strepthroat, pinkeye, and failure. I'm healed up finally, but have sadly missed buttloads of work, and way too many payments. To make matters worse, I'm getting the run-around about going back. Basically, my work won't take me back until I get certain forms filled out from the hospital (FMLA, clean bill of health, etc.); but the hospital is dragging their heels and giving me the run-around for reasons too tedious to go into. It's basically a huge thorn that you all probably don't want to hear about.
So the bottom line: I need a temp gig until I can get back to work and get a couple of paychecks rolling in. I'm not really out for sympathy/handouts (unless you're sympathetically handing out a loaded revolver); I'm a good Libertarian--I'd just as soon *work* at my undoing.
Thus, if anyone knows anyone who either a.) needs a trained cook, b.) an experienced sales manager, or (AND ESPECIALLY) c.) a skilled/experienced/mildly hallucinating/scattered/smothered/covered writer for any project, I am officially your dishwashing immigrant. I will totally travel for a decent gig. Hell...a desperate, penniless roadtrip to a mystery assignment practically writes and sells itself, no?

Seriously...need a scribe for hire? Need a band bio written to make you sound like the next Metallica/Rolling Stones/incarnation of the Maitreya? Know a 'zine looking for someone able to decimate a musician's dreams in thirty words or less? Holla. All offers will be responded to, considered, and cherished like the sweetest porn.

hellionmedia@yahoo.com
skuzzbopper@gmail.com
www.myspace.com/stigmatador
http://the-amen-corner.blogspot.com

7. CLOSING ARGUMENTS/ARGUMENT STARTERS
I like cheese. And cigars. And the films of Alejandro Jodorowsky and Dario Argento. I want a pet sloth. Eleuvite is the only newish metal band I can tolerate right now, but I can only bring myself to listen to Alice Cooper and Motorhead. My birthday is this Tuesday. I officially despise 90% of the women in my life. Sometimes I eat raw coffee beans from the pour spout at the store. I accidentally sent an obscene text to 170 people the other day. I've decided I like Mitch Hedberg three years too late. I often wonder what animal a platypus would most taste like. And I'm pretty sure Tropic Thunder is going to suck. That is all.


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STIG!!! Good to see you! Good to hear you are healthy.......er........LOL

Good to hear from you. I'll get in touch via MySpace, my brotha from another motha. Or something.

Yeah, I might go that route as well....

good to see that the sweres haven't managed to swallow you whole yet

Happy happy ..you know!





Actually, I think your Hex soiree' will be more like this:




This was the least offensive along this theme I could find for this board... yet still weird enough.

In no particular order. 1. Eluveitie. Learn to spell or something.

2. Accidentally sent? Sure, yeah. And you smell nice too.

3. Sucks that you are involved in hospital/work politics. Hope you find some form of self imposed slavery to tide you over. Appeal to Obama, he will provide hope.

4. I hear you on the Mitch thingy. I just found out he was deceased.

5. ?

6. Have a good B-day, leave the 90% alone and spend time with the 10% you can stand. Eat some extra gourmet coffee beans to celebrate.

I want to go to camp and take on a black bear with my spear and armour, after having drunk the war- vodka.