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shadow_zone
Number of posts: 502 Age: 23 Registration date: 2008-12-03
 | Subject: How to lose weight Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:23 am | |
| A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely, " he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine." He lost 33 kilos that week. |
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GODSWIZARD Play it LOUD!!

Number of posts: 17975 Age: 52 Registration date: 2007-01-06
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:26 am | |
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tohostudios

Number of posts: 4415 Registration date: 2007-04-07
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angelofdarkness

Number of posts: 557 Age: 32 Registration date: 2009-05-14
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:53 am | |
| Brilliant....absolutely BRILLIANT!  I'd be running like hell! _________________ A Wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is early, he arrives precisely when he means to
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arttieTHE1manparty The Strongest Man In The World

Number of posts: 8727 Age: 39 Registration date: 2006-12-27
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:22 am | |
| LOL! Arttie _________________ Constitutional separation of church and state is a lie; it is a figment of the secular-progressive's imagination.
"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under."--Ronald Reagan
"Today, our nation saw evil, the very worst of human nature, and we responded with the best of America."--George W. Bush, Sept. 11, 2001
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Tall Tyrion

Number of posts: 10208 Age: 41 Registration date: 2007-01-28
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:30 am | |
| Proven results!  _________________ “If you make less than $250,000 your taxes will not go up. Not one dime.” BH Obama ''Let me be clear: There is no military solution in Iraq and there never was. The best way to protect our security and to pressure Iraq's leaders to resolve their civil war is to immediately begin to remove our combat troops. Not in six months or one year -- now,'' Candidate Obama in 2007  |
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texanvfg

Number of posts: 302 Age: 40 Registration date: 2009-07-04
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Black Rider Man in Morph

Number of posts: 14621 Age: 41 Registration date: 2007-04-09
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:26 am | |
| Wow, just.......wow. _________________ I don't have time for all if it, so I pick my battles. I concentrate on spotting and weeding out satanic paper, handkerchiefs (do you really want Satan that close to your nose?) and eggs. I can spot satanic eggs at Wal Mart like a frickin' drug sniffing dog.
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shadow_zone
Number of posts: 502 Age: 23 Registration date: 2008-12-03
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:28 am | |
| Got that one off a dude called Jeff Anderson aka the muscle nerd. Comes up with some interesting workout ideas. |
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Master's Apprentice

Number of posts: 829 Age: 37 Registration date: 2009-02-20
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endlessfuneral2003

Number of posts: 1480 Registration date: 2007-01-01
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:46 am | |
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preacherman777
Number of posts: 161 Age: 40 Registration date: 2007-05-04
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:17 am | |
| This is actually an old joke. I remember seeing it played on a show on HBO or Showtime back when I was like 12 or 13, (so almost 30 years ago) but there were a couple differences. For one thing the sign read "If you can catch me you can f*** me" and in the end, rather than a huge muscular guy standing there, it was a huge gorilla with a sign that read "If I catch you, I f*** you." But it's nice to know that there's a cleaned up version out there. |
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Musclecar1975

Number of posts: 541 Age: 39 Registration date: 2009-06-15
 | Subject: Re: How to lose weight Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:38 pm | |
| | shadow_zone wrote: | A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely, " he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine." He lost 33 kilos that week. |
That was so freakin' funny!!! |
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