Why did the chicken cross the road?

Age : 35 Joined : 07 Apr 2007 Posts : 2275

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he mustfirst deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why hewants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite imageof the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet beenallowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY ! You can see it in hiseyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, thechicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish itslife long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition ofchicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Age : 20 Joined : 21 Jul 2007 Posts : 2022

Age : 33 Joined : 06 Apr 2007 Posts : 2375

Joined : 07 Nov 2007 Posts : 2237

ME
The chicken crossed the road to dredge itself in buttermilk, flour, and spicers, hop in a deep fryer, and end up on my dinner plate next to a cob of corn, a pile of mashed taters, and a mess o' biscuits.
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"...remembering those years. Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it."
- Barack Hussein Obama

Age : 33 Joined : 06 Apr 2007 Posts : 2375

Obama: The chicken crossed the road to get to the deep-fryers at Popeye's, where all the bruthas hang out. Death to Col. Sanders' White, Anglo-Saxon KFC restaurants!

Man in Morph Age : 40 Joined : 08 Apr 2007 Posts : 8626

Eddie Izzard: Though I am unaware of the reasons the bird crossed the bloody road, I am in awe of it's use of feathers.
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All our ways that seem so right
Lay inside the ways of death
All our trying and our denying
Paupers and peasants, masters of jest.

Age : 20 Joined : 21 Jul 2007 Posts : 2022

RONALD REAGAN:

I forget.
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Joined : 09 Apr 2007 Posts : 322

Rene Descartes would have said, "what chicken?"

Or perhaps, "what road?"

Subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? Mon May 12, 2008 4:21 pm

*snickers* Love it!
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Joined : 09 Apr 2007 Posts : 322

Joined : 19 Apr 2007 Posts : 206

Amy Winehouse: they tried to make the chicken go to rehab, but he said no no no

Age : 33 Joined : 06 Apr 2007 Posts : 5885

Keanu Reeves: The chicken crossed the road? Whoah...........
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Age : 41 Joined : 24 Oct 2007 Posts : 1979

Ozzy Osbourne:
The chicken crossed the road, so I bit its head off!
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'Holy, holy, holy... is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. With all creation I sing, 'Praise to the King of Kings!' You are my everything and I will adore you!' - 'Revelation Song.'

Joined : 28 Feb 2008 Posts : 92

haha that made my day. lol!

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In CHRIST,
Dave

www.promiselandx.com

Subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road? Wed May 14, 2008 1:34 am

Lemmy Kilmeister: The #&**^(# chicken crossed the &*(%&^&* %^%#$% road becau......wait what was the &*(&^^%%$% question?

Mission Of One Age : 38 Joined : 03 Jan 2007 Posts : 5515

Ted Nugent: I blew that effing chicken's head off! See, guns are good!
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"Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

Cool Mamma Jamma Age : 52 Joined : 11 Mar 2007 Posts : 362

Man in Morph Age : 40 Joined : 08 Apr 2007 Posts : 8626

Must not have had his heels on that day.

Spock: It is a highly irrational expedition as the other side of the road is exactly the same as this side.

Kirk: What.....drew.............the...............chicken...........across.............the.....road? Was...........it...........green...............and..............female?
_________________
All our ways that seem so right
Lay inside the ways of death
All our trying and our denying
Paupers and peasants, masters of jest.

Mission Of One Age : 38 Joined : 03 Jan 2007 Posts : 5515

Dr. McCoy: "Dammit, Jim. I'm a doctor, not a poultry farmer! Let the poor soul cross the road if he wants! I can't save him."
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"Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

Mission Of One Age : 38 Joined : 03 Jan 2007 Posts : 5515

Mike Tyson: Tastes like chicken!
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"Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."