Hello again, everyone.

Thank you to everyone who has kept my wife and myself in prayer. It is appreciated.

After more than 3 months without gambling, my wife slipped up yesterday and hit the casino. She lost a lot of money. But ironically, I'm proud of her. She confessed this to me and told me that she struggled about whether or not to hide it from me, and that once she told me she then struggled over whether or not to lie to me about the amount of money she lost. Many of you may recall that we're in a bad way financially, and her slip yesterday hurt. She was afraid I would be especially angry with her because of this, probably thought I would do the whole "I told you so" thing, who knows what else. Actually, I do know what else. In her GA meetings one of the most common scenarios is that the spouses kick the gamblers out and file for divorce or separation. We've talked about this. I have a strong hunch that's what she feared might have been coming.

But I felt okay. I was at peace. I felt like it was okay, I am here to encourage and support her. I'm proud of her for telling me. Compared to a month ago this is a complete 180 in feelings. We had a very long talk about that and some other things pertaining to the big struggle of a month ago. We worked some more things out, above and beyond what's happening with our counseling appointments. The talk was very good. I put into words things I didn't want to put into words because I didn't want her to dwell on them--I wanted it to be situations that she didn't even need to be aware of. I'm not sure if that makes sense. But basically I put into words a lot of my philosophy about how I'm helping her through her addiction, and how it's different from the way a lot of other gamblers get support from their families because she is different from so many other gamblers as far as her personality goes. I didn't want her to be consciously thinking about this, I wanted it to just be happening in the background, but it seems that it may have been necessary to share it with her to help her better understand where I'm coming from and why it's so important for her to be honest with me and to know that she can rely on me through the tough times. I think now that she is less likely to shut me out like she did a month ago. I feel again like she might truly appreciate what I'm trying to do to help her, or at the very least like she's not being ungrateful for it.

Today she caved in again and hit the casino, losing very little, but still doing damage to her self-esteem. It's going to be hard for her to start over from the beginning again, after losing the three months of hard work she put into getting away from gambling. I know she can do it.

Now she has to build up the courage to confess to her family that she slipped up again, since she's been keeping them posted about her progress. And we've got to work on the finances again, because she's spending like mad even outside the casinos. And I'm not really supposed to "bail her out" of financial messes created by gambling because that's enabling her, but our finances are tied together so it puts a whole different spin on things. But even with the setback, I'm extremely proud of her for the way she handled things (with being honest, and with some specific details of how she handled the money inside of the casino--3 months ago she would have stayed longer and lost a LOT more than she did this time, but this time, although she lost a lot, she had more willpower than ever before).

And so, friends and strangers, you now know more of my personal life. Prayers are welcome, praises for my wife's progress--and this really is progress--are deserved. And of course, discretion is a must. This is such an improvement over one month ago. Thank you all for your prayers.

Dude, you sound like the heart of Jesus. I read encouragement and love in your responses. I can't imagine the stress it is putting on you, but when I read your epic disclosure there, I cna't help but feeling like you are taking the savior road and looking at the person not the action. Blessings on you man, don't get weary.

Your wife's struggle sounds like everyone else's trial. Pornography, drugs, overeating, selfishness, anger . . . man everyone gets bound up by something. To come out and admit it right away, that is awesome. It allows you to walk with her as opposed to sitting the sideline wondering how you will pay for stuff.

I don't know how much it helps, but you're doing it dude. Being the husband, the protector, the covering for her. That sounds like Jesus to me. I will keep praying.

Thanks for the update.

SO GLAD that you are encouraged.....and, that you are encouraging her.

Continuing to pray.

I'm pretty discouraged right now. It's 1:15 in the morning and my wife is almost certainly at the casino. She assures me every day that she won't go to the casino the next day but the pull is so great she winds up there again. Months ago this wreaked havoc, and I fear it will become a pattern again. There's nothing I can do. I'm supposed to let it run its course. It's hard to do, watching it happen. It rips my stomach apart, increases my headaches, actually nauseates me to think about the self-loathing this generates in her, and of course the financial pit that keeps getting deeper.

Addictions tear apart many more people than just the addicted.

Is there no way you can take the credit cards away, open a bank account in your name only or somehting? It probably wouldn't solve the whole problem but if she has no access to money would that help?
Dude, I hear your pain, my Dad is an alcoholic so your last sentence hits me hard.
Praying for you.

Hey, I just wanted to say that I'm praying right now for you guys.

You're a good man DH and i'm sorry you have to go through this. You're on my prayer list almost daily.