Please understand that I'm very appreciative for the many responses and kind words that you have all posted. I mean that from the depths of my heart.

If I've offended someone for asking to 'stay on task' with the post I'm sorry. Really.

Bitterness is a hard thing to shed, but to tell you all since I've posted my 'note' I can sense some type of spiritual shift within me. On a small scale mind you, but I'm really tired of living in the past y'know. Perhaps a positive step in the right direction....

Matthew 12:20 has been a verse I've clung to for the last 5-6 years. I'm the bruised reed and a smoldering wick is about all there is left. I do desire more...

God Bless bros....

Well spiritually things are slowly (and I mean slowly!) clearing.... I've slowly started to attend a small group with my wife. The people seem sincere and down to earth.

We'll just have to wait and see, but God knows I want it to happen.

I could use your prayers about work, I work at Washington Mutual and God is really testing my faith again.... sigh.... I just started 6 months ago.... after being out of work for a month....

So much going on.



I do appreciate all of your prayers. I realize that they have helped me in ways I can't even imagine....

Thank you for updating this thread. It reminds me to pray about it.

I appreciate it.

I just caught this thread. I think someone mentioned being disenfranchised with the church. I can echo that - seems like there is a big shake up going on.

I think God is doing some sifting. I don't advocate abandoning the church, but I think many of us are finding that the growth we need is not necessarily found in the pew. It IS our responsibility, and I (for one) find that I get more spiritual growth and accoutability in a small group. My wife and I join a few other couples and we pretty much get real and brutal with our discussions. We all agreed to be honest and non-judging (we are all old friends, so we know everyone's dirty laundry)

It is work man, but it is life to us. I am still the worship leader and on the council at church, I know its important, but sunday church doesn't give the life sustaining stuff I need. It's my job to grow, so I have found I can go elsewhere for additional help. I agree with you though, its a slow, scary step. I will pray for you dude.

Blessings

Will continue to pray. Thanks for the update.

There is an excellent book on this entitled "How To Quit Church Without Quitting God" by Martin Zender. As most people here know I believe the modern church is apostate. Therefor I don't believe you can truly find the love of God within it's walls. It's has been replaced by what man wants God to be. It's no wonder you feel bitter. If you keep going back to what made you that way it will only worsen. It's like an alcoholic going back to the bottle. Christ lives in your heart brother. Let His love grow within you and you will do fine.