I just have a feeling I'm going to wind up in Hell no matter how hard I try to keep out. I'm too easily swayed by opinions of others and can't keep my mind straight on what matters, which is faith. Frankly, all 23 years of my life I have never had it. I really don't know the meaning of the word. I'm trying strinuously on a daily basis to make it grow and let it lead my life but just one word from another person on how I conduct myself or the music i listen to being sinful or possible is sinful I lose it. I have no clue what I am doing. I might as well just accept my fate. I litterally tremble in fear and cry when I think of Hell but the idea of me having to give up the music I like regardless of its message or having to litterally hide myself from the world just makes me want to hurl. I'm so frustrated and confused I don't know what to do. I don't even know what spirit has been leading me. I asked Jesus to come in to my heart when I was 12 and was baptized. I knew I wanted salvation but I didn't know the first thing about "living right" much less understanding of the Bible. Quite frankly when I was told by elders what I had to stay away from as a Christian I didn't like it. One bit. I kept on believing and praying, but I had NO CLUE what I was doing. Now, at 23, I understand the Bible way better than I did, I actually have desire to stay away from sinful things (envy, strife, orgies, etc), I know I want salvation (I even prayed again and asked Jesus to come in to my heart to be sure I got it right) and at times, especially this past week I have felt great but today, I just don't really know whats happened. I read verse in Galatians which I have read several times and was bothered before, but eventually wasn't. Now for some reason today, I'm disturbed greatly. Its the verse about the works of the flesh in chapter 5. I don't know if I'm avoiding all of those things nor do I know if I am avoiding them because I have faith or just because I know the Bible says they're wrong. I always have doubt of salvation. I just can't see myself having it if I get too comfortable. I need prayers. I know prayers work because Jesus has answered many of them I have prayed. Some I got almost immediately upon asking. I guess I'm just unstable. Simple as that.

I believe every lukewarm christian should tremble before the admonishments in the Word of God, but this is not what I see in you. I see the same paralyzing fear I had much of the time, even after repenting. I would encourage you to get a copy of Henry Nouwens's book "The Return of the Prodigal." I do not believe in fatalism, God is seeking for you, and He will find you if you want Him to.

Hey Metaller4Christ.....look at what Candlemass said:

Quote:

I see the same paralyzing fear I had much of the time, even after repenting. I would encourage you to get a copy of Henry Nouwens's book "The Return of the Prodigal." I do not believe in fatalism, God is seeking for you, and He will find you if you want Him to.

When I was younger in CHRIST......in my 20s.....after my salvation at age 23.....I had the same fears you and Candlemass both mention. Over time.....with Christian maturity and learning......spending time with HIM and *walking* with GOD......my fears went away.

Just don't give up. Stick with HIM.....lean into HIM.....HE loves you and wants your fellowship, heart, mind, love, and thoughts. HE wants.....YOU. Just marvel and revel in that. The GOD of the multiverses wants.....YOU. HE wants you around. That's cool. Don't give up on HIM......because HE'S not giving up on you.

_________________
"The 'farce' is strong with Sith Lord Obama-Wan." words of Scourge.

"Uh....You can believe me....Uh....because I never lie, and....Uh....Uh....I am always right." words of Sith Lord Obama-Wan.

Daddy likes it all, the DraíodóirDé likes it all

BTW Metaller4Christ......you should have PM about the entire issue of what others want and expect from you. Dude.....IMO it is fairly simple. Please don't try to make it harder than it is. Just......read my PM to you.

I know I need to think positive and remember the scripture but I just keep thinking I'm going to be one of the many who Jesus says "I never knew you" to. I might as well admit it, others opinions on music are getting to me! I can't just have faith. Someone always shoots me down.

Points in reply to things you've said:


1.

Quote:

I know I need to think positive and remember the scripture but I just keep thinking I'm going to be one of the many who Jesus says "I never knew you" to.

Change your thinking.


You control your thoughts. Not Tom. Not Dick. Not Harry. Not Jorge Elsalazar XIV. YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. CHANGE THEM.




2.

Quote:

I might as well admit it, others opinions on music are getting to me!

Er......once again.....dude. SCREW OTHER'S OPINIONS ON MUSIC. Who cares what Christian Tom thinks of Christian death metal?? Who gives a rat's ass what Christian Dick thinks of Christian black metal?? Who could possibly give a rip about what Christian Harry thinks of Christian thrash metal?? Lastly, who cares what Christian Jorge Elsalazar XIV thinks about Christian polka music??

Who cares?? Ask GOD. Wait on GOD'S reply. Pray. Think. Read the Bible. Pray some more. Be patient. Ask sincerely and do what HE tells you to do. If HE says to get rid of band XYZ123......do it. Otherwise......don't keep XYZ123 around and pretend like HE wants you to listen to them.....when HE'S told your mind, heart, spirit, or *gut* feelings, or any of the above in combination, that HE wants you to lose that band and its albums.

Um......dude.....stand up for yourself. You and your GOD run your thoughts about music. No one else matters if this is something that bothers you this much.




3.

Quote:

I can't just have faith. Someone always shoots me down.

Yes you can......and......if you get *shot down* pick yourself up and keep going, or change directions.




4. You decide how hard you want to make all this. YOU.

Back to number one above. Change your thinking.

_________________
"The 'farce' is strong with Sith Lord Obama-Wan." words of Scourge.

"Uh....You can believe me....Uh....because I never lie, and....Uh....Uh....I am always right." words of Sith Lord Obama-Wan.

Daddy likes it all, the DraíodóirDé likes it all

I will pray for you.

lol not meaning to go off the subject but mr intrigued's pic is quite funny

I once dated a girl who looked just like that.


She only went out with me once.


She said she just could not be around someone who hid their true emotions and feelings.

I have one tiny bit of advice, bro....Christianity is not about "not going to Hell". It's about your personal relationship with your Lord and Savior.

You can't focus on keeping out of Hell. You don't control that. GOD controls that one.

There are a LOT of people out there who've done EVERYTHING right....other than accept Christ. They have not relnquished their hearts actions to Christ, they're merely "good people", and they're damned because of it. there's a lot of other sinners like you and me who, DESPITE our stumbles and mis-steps and wrong headed stubbornness, that are blessed with Salvation because we've accepted Christ, and given ourselves over. you HAVE to understand that the state of our Salvation has absolutely ZERO to do with US, and EVERYTHING to do with the grace of our creator.

Compare Ghandi and Peter........their actions, their words, and their lives......and then ask yourself which one you will see in Heaven.

Theses things you are seeking in yourself......they're aren't going to happen because of YOU, and they aren't necessarily going to be an overnight thing. NOTHING "you" can do will EVER be worthy of the grace we have been extended. No ammount of change that you attempt will EVER be good enough. You have to accept that fact. You HAVE to give up "control" over trying to be worthy. Because we're not, plain and simple.

These changes that you seek......they will happen NOT thru YOUR efforts, but thru Christ working in your life. The effort you expend...the struggle you feel could actually be because you are trying TOO hard, and while the intentions are proper.....You're nto letting God do His work; you're actually fighting Him and being counterproductive. RELAX yourself a bit, and LET Him do his work....at the pace He deems fruitful. Allow God to do things at His pace.....let him take you where He wishes, in the manner He deems fit....







I'm going to re-iterate and try to clarify something I said early in my post:


You can't focus on keeping out of Hell. You don't control that. GOD controls that one.

And you SHOULDN't befocused on ANYTHING other than Christ. It's entirely possibly that the "worrying about Hell" can become an idol.....

I was born a preacher's daughter, i was saved at age 4, i was raised in the church. Early in my teen years i watched a movie called "a thief in the night". It had to do with the rapture and the end times. I became terrified that i would be left behind. I struggled with this through my teen years. After a while i pushed it to the back of my mind and only occasionally thought about it. In my twenties i came to a realization like Exo was saying where i just had to let it go. Now my kids are asking these same kinds of questions. Last week i was given a link to a sermon on sermonaudio.com. It was called "A sermon that has angered many". He was asking Christians to test their salvation. At first i was confused and skeptical about what he was saying, but I am firm believer in hearing people out. When I began to understand what he was saying it was like a light came on. We CAN KNOW we are saved! In the book of 1 John Paul deals specifically with this question. He gives us a series of questions to ask ourselves. The ultimate question is this, does your sin bring you to your knees, do you continually try to do better, do you desire to be more like Christ every day? Now everyone is going to have dry spells and everyone is going to have days of doubt and fear, but KNOWING we are saved can save us from needless worry and fear that is the devil's tool for defeating Christians!

Hope that was clear. Please ask questions, and keep asking them, wanting to know more is an important step in defending the faith and showing yourself approved unto God.

Some good advice here. You are not alone, many struggle with this issue, but know it gets easier as you continue to grow in faith.

The last two posts before Black Rider's......fine words, fine thoughts.

Man, you guys and girl have helped me a lot. Your prayers were heard and answered last night not long after I posted this. I read chapters 4, 5 and 6 in Romans right before I went to bad and Paul talks about how Abraham was justified through faith. He didn't rely on himself, but what God said. He believed God and let that be his driving force rather than thinking he could be righteous. I understand now. This is what my mom (who is a Christian also) has been trying to tell me all along. We have to just let go and trust in Jesus' love for us and what He did on the cross at cavalry. On that cross, he paid the penalty of sin. For each and everyone of us. We don't have to pay it because of Him. Through our accpetance of Him as our savior and our trust and belief in Him and HIS works (not our own) we are saved. I finally get it. I just need to pray myself for that focus. It seems to have worked out great today. I have felt more comfortable today than I have in a while.

oh and Mrs. Exo, you had a the most valid point I have ever been given. "worrying can become an idol". You hit the nail on the head that was exactly what I needed to hear. You all are great friends. I wish some of you if not all of you lived around here in WV so I could see you all. More than anything though I wish I could see Jesus face to face, and with these facts I believe now that I will.

My mom as well as other elders here have told me all we can do is trust in Jesus and believe in Him, repent when we know we sin, and move on. I see it clearly now. Worrying is not going to help anything. We don't observe what sin is, because we are told what it is to make us aware of it. Yes we are to avoid it but don't sit and observe what YOU are doing based on what is said to be sinful. Observe Jesus and trust Him. Faith through love. When we do that, we have the true love that Jesus talks about and it shines through without us even having to try because we have let HIM take the wheel rather than ourselves.

Correction, MR exo said the part about worrying being an idol but still both you and your wife gave the points i needed to hear. Thanks a lot. and to everyone else you all did great.

Re: others opinion of Christian metal

God created alot of different types of people and He reaches each of those different people in a way they can accept. He knows not all of us like polka or the color blue. He is more than capable of reaching us, touching our hearts, letting us know He is God. If you feel blessed or inspired by a band, song, genre AND it meets your understanding of Biblical concepts - THEN ENJOY!!!! Example: My father loves the old hymns, but not the modern worship music. My sister is the opposite. I expect to see both of them in heaven. I'll see you there too my friend.

Thank you Bikergirl. When we do meet up there, we'll have a group hug with the rest of the members here and Jesus our Lord Himself with us.